Episode 10: Irish Goodbye

Two Cents Plus Tax

Episode Ten: “Parties”


Transcript has been lightly edited for readability.

(theme song plays)

K: I’m Krystal.

C: I’m Caitlin.

K: And this is …

K & C: Two Cents Plus Tax!

C: And here we go.

K: Wow.

C: Welcome back!

K: Yeah, I would love for you to have the tone you just had on the … it was very ASMR, when you were like, “Here we go.”

C: Here we go!

K: Yeah, that’s it. I wonder if—

C: It’s Two Cents Plus Tax.

K: (laughs) We’re doin it. That makes me think of whether or not there are like … I’m sure there are. Like ASMR podcasts? I bet there are.

C: Probably. Cuz it’s an audio medium.

K: It is, but like I know on YouTube when I watch them, there are people—they do things while they are talking, and I think maybe people on YouTube maybe like both of them, but I’m curious to know if there actually are podcasts that are just specifically like audio ASMR stuff.

C: I would think so.

K: We could investigate.

C: We will. And I have to say that yesterday, I had a very surprising thing happen where I had a guest in my home for the first time in … like fourteen, fifteen months. Like I’ve had several people come over, but in a professional capacity, cuz I had to get some work done in the house and stuff like that. But I had a friend over!

K: Whoa.

C: Surprise visit from a friend.

K: So they surprised you by showing—but you didn’t know that they were coming.

C: I did not know—

K: Whoa.

C: —they surprised me, because today’s my birthday.

K: Heyyy!

C: And he—happy birthday to me. Thank you.

K: Yeah!

C: And he came over—it’s my friend and coworker Mike. Shoutout to Mike, friend of the podcast. Truly, friend of the podcast. He was complimenting our podcast. 

K: Mm!

C: He’s complimented you several times, Krystal, to me. He called you verbally facile—

K: (laughs) 

C: —very smart. He said you have a very nice voice. He said I had a nice voice.

And he said you and I have great chemistry, and I said, you’re correct.

K: Oh, that I think is true.

C: Yes.

K: That part I agree with, yeah.

C: But speaking of the … you know, the voices sounding so wonderful in your ears. So I just  wanted to pass on that compliment to my beautiful, brilliant co-host Krystal.

K: (laughs) Thank—thank you?

C: You are welcome.

K: No, that’s shocking you had a visitor. I haven’t even had—

C: It is shocking! He is a sweetheart, so shoutout to Mike.

K: Yeah, that’s awesome! Friend of the show. Literal friend of the show.

C: Friend of the show Mike, and shoutout to Philly, where he’s from. And we should mention that producer Toshio is with us today. Hello Toshio. How are you? We missed you again last week when you were off on your date. How was it?

Toshio: Um, it went swimmingly.

K: (laughs) 

C: Did it? How is Bowen, because I’m a little concerned about him, because Elon Musk is hosting Saturday Night Live—

K: Was gonna say, there’s some stuff going on with … yeah. 

C: —and I know Bowen is not happy about that, and I was a—people also on social media tend to, for some reason, think that he has to answer for everything that goes on at that show.

K: (laughs) I think they think that of everyone on the show who’s like popular, because I feel like Aidy Bryant gets the same kinda thing. She’s popular, but she’s also very active on social media, and I feel like anyone who is on the show and also like a big social media user gets the same kinda stuff, which is probably why a lot of them don’t—

C: Use it?

K: —(laughing) do social media, so I get it.

C: I think they seem to come for him more though because he is—

K: He’s very outspoken.

C: —gay, Asian, breaking all these barriers, and politically active and vocal. So I do feel like he gets that more than other members of the show.

K: Yeah.

C: So anyway, Toshio, how is Bowen? We are concerned.

T: (laughs) I mean, I listened to his other podcast. He seems to be, yeah, taking it on. He is, like you said, he’s coming and trying to assuage the angry mob.

C: Mm-hmm.

T: Talk them down on behalf of his other cast members, which—you know, I hope that I have the strength to one day do that for y’all, when—

C: Our inevitable backlash.

K: (laughs) 

T: When people come for … yes. yes. And I hope you have your … your James Charles apologies ready.

K: Oh my gosh.

C: I’m getting my fake eyelashes on!

K: (laughs) 

K: (laughs) I was gonna say, like I need to get my highlighter, all of that. Yeah. It’s gonna be …

C: Need to get those lip implants.

K: Gotta get it baked? Is that what they call it when they put all that makeup—I don’t know makeup terms.

C: I don’t either.

K: (laughs) 

T: Well, I think that time is maybe over. Like the Kanye and Jeffree Star dating rumors. I feel like it … it’s all downhill.

K: Is that really a real rumor?

T: Mm. Mm-hmm. Lemme just drop it in the chat. 

K: I like it.

C: Was it true?

K: I hope it’s true. That’d be amazing. (laughs) That’d be amazing for the internet. 

T: I know. Well cuz they’ve both been in Wyoming.

C: Mm!

K: Yeah, Kanye has like a—I’m not like a super knowledgeable Kanye person, but I know he has a big like compound there.

C: Yes.

K: And I only know that because one of my favorite singer-songwriter people, Francis and the Lights, like he recorded a lot of his most recent work there, cuz they’re really good friends. But yeah.

C: Him and Kanye?

K: Yeah. I don’t know how they became friends. I think maybe they were working on separate things outta like a studio or something and then like they met each other, and Kanye’s like, this guy’s cool. I’m gonna bring him on tour with me.

C: Oh my gosh.

K: I know, right? So he’s been friends with him ever since—this is like ten, twelve years ago, so this is a long time ago.

C: Who is this person? Francis?

K: Francis and—so the band is called Francis and the Lights. And his “name” is like Francis Farewell Starlite. It’s a stage name. That’s not his—his real name is like—

C: That’s not his—that wasn’t his real name at birth? (laughs) 

K: —Abraham. Yeah. His real name was Abraham. (laughs) He’s from Berkeley, too.

C: Does he have many sons?

K: I know. (laughs) Father … he’s not a father as far as I know. (laughs) Um, and yeah. Now the song is stuck in my head. I feel like I’m at vacation bible school again.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: But yeah, I know Kanye has like a big ranch there or something. But didn’t Jeffree Star like … something happened to him recently. I keep seeing his name in the—this is not even a—

C: It’s racism. 

K: (laughs)

T: Yeah, just racism … 

C: Racism happened to him! (laughs) 

K: Okay, well I know that, but to me that’s not new—

T: Nuh-uh. Nope.

K: —that’s like old news. But I thought something happened—

C: It’s continuous, I think.

K: Did he get in a car accident or something? I feel like I read that. 

C: Oh, maybe.

T: I mean—

K: It might be just—

C: Wishful thinking.

K: —like a, you know, he’s trying to false flag it, so people don’t get on his case about whatever new racist thing he said? I don’t know.

C: Yeah. I could see that.

T: Yeah. I know that he lost it all, like allegedly, whatever. He’s one of those people that’s gonna be fine no matter what happens to them.

C: Yeah.

K: Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

T: Cancel culture run amok!

K: Oh my gosh. Not real. (laughs) 

T: And … yeah. So he … I feel like he gave up the Tesla, but may have just replaced it with something like more—

C: A different Tesla.

K: I was gonna say, a new Tesla? (laughs) 

C: Right.

T: Yeah. It could have been like an insurance grift. I’m just gonna say that. That’s my rumor.

C: Probably.

K: Mm-hmm. It’s always some kinda grift with those people, the YouTube people.

T: Yeah. And now people have so many palettes that are just gathering dust and turning to dust that I feel like—I mean, the makeup influencers … I was gonna say, we should do like a well-researched deep dive on an already extremely over-covered topic, but—

K: (laughs) 

T: I think it may have reached its zenith.

K: Yeah. It makes me feel old, too, when I even dip a tiny finger into that whole like world on YouTube. I’m just like, all of this is happening and I do not know about any of it. It feels very—

C: I don’t either. 

K: I feel so weird! (laughs) 

C: There is makeup now that didn’t exist when I was growing up, where I’m like, I do not know what this even means.

K:  Yep. One hundred percent. And anytime I watch any kind of like makeup look video and people are—(clears throat) you know, the gurus are doing whatever face thing they’re doing, I’m just like … my number one thing is like, A) how do they know how to do this?

C: Mm-hmm.

K: Like it seems like magic knowledge that some people just have. But also like … they use so much makeup. (laughs) 

C: Yeah.

K: I’m just like, they’re putting so many things on their faces! It just seems like … and you do this every day?! (laughs) 

C: I know.

K: Like it just seems like so much work to me that I’m like, nope.

C: No thanks!

K: I just wanna have … my ultimate goal in terms of makeup is just to look like Missy Elliott. Just to have that perfect, matte, beautiful, like gorgeous eyeshadow, like … I don’t know how she does it, but she’s looked the same for like twenty-five years—

T: She has.

K: —and it’s kind of like upsetting to me. She’s so awesome. Anyway.

C: Shoutout to Missy Elliot.

K: Yes! Shoutout to Missy Elliot. She’s so cute on social media, too. She’s just like, adorable.

C: We love her. 

K: I truly, truly do. 

C: We love you, Missy. Or as I call her, Misdemeanor.

K: (laughs) Nobody calls her that anymore! We should. We should go back to doing that.

C: I do.

K: I’m glad. Keep it alive. 

C: So what are we talking about today? 

K: Yeah! So today, you guys had a really good idea for a topic, because as you mentioned, it’s your birthday, Caitlin! 

C: Mm-hmm.

K: Yay! May first.

C: Thirty-nine and feelin fine.

K: (laughs) Amazing. I feel like we needed to make more of it at first, and then I was like, no one’s makin a big deal out of it, so I’m gonna make a big deal out of it right now. 

C: Yay!

K: It’s your birthday, and that’s awesome.

C: Yaaay.

K:  It’s a really good birthday, too. I think we’ve talked about this in the past, but May first, great weather—

C: May Day!

K: You know, obviously if you’re a super lefty, it’s a great day, May Day—

C: It is! It’s also Beltane, if you’re a witch, like me.

K: I was just about to ask if there was like some—

C: Yes, there is. 

K: —some like woo-woo thing that was happening around May first. That’s awesome.

C: It’s a witchy holiday.

K: Great. 

C: And um, you think about like, May Day, may pole—

K: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

C: —fertility, I’m gonna watch Midsommar later to celebrate—

K: Mm.

C: —no I’m not. I’m joking. (laughs) 

K: (laughs) Caitlin, I was gonna say, that’s … problematic. 

C: No. No. It really puts me in a cheery mood!

K: Oh my gosh. 

C: It does not.

K: Some people, I’m sure it does. 

C: Yeah, that movie terrified me, actually.

K: I will never see it. Like I have (laughs)

C: It was—genuinely, like that movie terrified me … uh, yeah.

K: Nope. Not gonna do it. I know my limits. But the reason this sort of topic came up [is] cuz it’s your birthday, so we decided to talk about parties—

C: Yeah! 

K: — and partying and party culture and all things party-related. Generally speaking, how do you feel about parties? Obviously there are lots of different kinds you can have.

C: Yes.

K: But generally speaking, how do you feel about them?

C: Well, it’s interesting because I heard from my friend Hester—shoutout to friend of the podcast Hester—that Toshio knows as well, from college, and she texted me something where I was just thinking, yes, I a hundred percent agree with this, where she said, “I miss parties, but I also don’t miss parties.” 

K: Mm-hmm.

C: And that’s how I feel right now, where like, after yesterday with my surprise visit, it was such a lift for me to see someone—

K: Mm-hmm.

C: —and to see someone that, you know, is just a really sweet, awesome dude. I was like, oh, wow, and it was just so weird to have someone in my home—

K: Mm-hmm. 

C: —and like having a (laughing) social gathering, as small as it was, I was like, whoa. So you know, god, I don’t even know when the last party I went to was. Do you remember yours? I can’t remember.

K: Eh, I mean, I don’t know if it counts as a party, but I think the last actual kind of big gathering that I went to was a wedding—

C: Mm-hmm.

K: —and that was in December of 2019? So (laughs) that was the last time I was around like a lot of … you know, a lot of people at once, and it was for an event, and stuff was happening, but since then, not anything, really.

C: Yeah.

K: Um, I mean, I don’t know, it’s weird, cuz my family is very—(laughs) I was gonna get to this—

C: They’re partiers!

K: Yeah!

C: Your family is like … they love an event.

K: It’s weird, like my family—it doesn’t matter what it is, a birthday, a holiday, graduation, whatever—it always just inevitably turns into a party. (laughs) 

C: Mm-hmm.

K: After a certain amount of time, the like … music comes on, and then people are like, havin some drinks, and then all of a sudden it’s just like, okay. Everyone’s just like, you know, it’s a party now. And it’s like, I thought this was Thanksgiving. (laughing) You know what I mean? It’s like—

C: Right. (laughs) I thought someone was getting circumcised today!

K: I mean, truly. They could truly turn anything into a party, but that’s sort of how I’ve always grown up, and so for me, parties are always like, exhausting, cuz I’m like, I get this so much already.

C: Yeah.

K: But yeah, no that’s … I agree that like there are some things to miss about just the feeling of being with other people, like that’s something that we haven’t had in a really long time. Well, some of us haven’t. Obviously some people don’t have the luxury of like, working from home, and doing all that stuff, so I completely understand that, but like, for me—

C: Some people also have just been … going on as if we are not in a pandemic!

K: (laughs) Yeah, exactly. They are, uh, just being like, yeah, I don’t believe we need to, you know, shelter in place, or not gather, or whatever. So yeah, there are definitely some people who have been like, partying this whole time. But I think for the majority of us, or people we sort of know, it’s been just kinda locked down.

C: Right.

K: So yeah, I do miss that, but I also agree that there’s like this whole … there are all of these rules and social stuff that happens when you’re at parties, and that part you don’t necessarily miss, you knoq? The like politics of being at a party and who you’re talking to and all of that stuff. It’s just … yeah. It’s good to not have to deal with that anymore, but it’s also like, okay, I would like to see some people at some point, maybe. (laughs) 

C: Yeah, I haven’t … I remember I did go to a wedding, like an outdoor wedding with—I mean there weren’t a lot of people there—

(dog barking)

C: —and I was masked, and I stayed there for like twenty minutes and I was literally away from every other person. In terms of parties, like … at this stage in the game—meaning thirty-nine—

(dog barks)

C: Chico, I’m talking. Also, you know, now I’m not drinking, that—cuz I was talking about this with my mother yesterday—now that I’m not drinking, like the idea of going to a party where I don’t know anyone, I’m like, ughh, I don’t know. 

K: Yeah.

C: Like you don’t have that kind of social lubricant—

K: Yes. (laughing) That’s the exact phrase that was in my mind.

C: Yeah, which is kind of a gross phrase, but I used it anyway.

K: But it’s true, I mean it does help to … you know, remove some of that anxiety. 

C: Yeah, and I feel like in the past few years too, I’ve just become a lot more introverted, and my ideal party would be like this. It’s like, two people who I love in my house, and we’re just chillin, and that’s it, and no one else that I don’t know is there.

K: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, yeah.

C: That is my idea of a really good time, like I don’t have to go anywhere! You come to me.

K: (laughs) 

C: Maybe we’ll eat some good food—I’m like [a] total tourist in this way. We’ll eat some good food; you know, talk; we’ll laugh. We’re all very comfortable; there’s no pressure. And then we can go home and I can go to bed early, and it’ll be a lovely evening. 

K: (laughs) Yeah, those are the kinds of things that I miss the most—with COVID and everyone sort of socially distancing and sheltering in place, that kinda thing is the thing I miss the most. And I didn’t have a ton of that in my life, but like my friend Danny, who like moved to New York right at the beginning of all of this—

C: Mm-hmm.

K: —he was the person that would have those kinds of get-togethers pretty regularly, so that is a thing that I miss, being like, oh yeah, Danny was like, come over and let’s watch this terrible movie, School Ties. Or like, let’s watch Always Be My Maybe, or whatever it is, you know? Some thing where it’s just like, people … or it would just be like, come over for brunch. We’re just gonna have brunch, and everyone will bring something. 

C: Yeah.

K Like that, to me, is the ideal kind of like, no one’s trying to … there aren’t people there that you don’t know, first of all. Secondly, it’s just like … casual. 

C: Yes! Yes. Yes. 

K: Everything’s super casual, chill, you know. You’re just kind of like there to be in each other’s company, and to enjoy a thing, whether the thing is food, or a movie, or whatever.

C: Low-pressure. Or no-pressure!

K: Exactly. Exactly.

C: And I’m sorry—did you say School Ties? The movie about the boy hiding the fact that he’s Jewish?

K: Yeah, exactly. That’s the one! (laughs) 

C: With um, who is the actor that—

K: Brendan Fraser is the guy. 

C: He is an interesting man.

K: He really is, and he had a really interesting kind of like … that part of his career, like the 90’s through the … like the early 90’s through the late 90’s. It’s really interesting to look at the kinds of roles he was playing at the beginning to the kinds of roles he was playing at the end of the 90’s. It’s like, wow, you sort of did a whole transformation from like serious actor—

C: Yeah. Encino Man!

K: Yeah! To like—ooh, my phone. To like, oh, I’m like, The Mummy, and like, Dudley Do-Right

C: Blast from the Past.

K: He did so many—

C: Wow, I really know a lot about Brendan Fraser’s career for some reason. That’s odd.

K: He was everywhere for awhile, that’s why!

C: Yeah.

K: I mean, he was really a huge actor, and then he just went away, unfortunately. But yeah so that kind of stuff. I miss that kind of thing.

C: Toshio brought up a really good subtopic here of party themes, and you said you’ve always been amused by the white party concept, which I also am. And I remember (laughing) at work, I think this was at work, someone brought up—or maybe this was on Real Housewives? God, I cannot tell if this happened in real life or was on TV.

K: (laughs) 

C: That’s where my mind is. Um, but someone was talking about a white party, and the other people were like … didn’t know that term, and so they were like … white party?

K: (laughing) They thought it was like a racial concept—

C: Yeah, thinking that it was only for white people. And I cannot—oh, god. This is terrible. I don’t know if this actually happened in front of me, or if I saw it on TV.

K: What is it? Is it just that you wear white, and that’s it?

C: You wear white. You wear white. And I remember also—I know I keep bringing up college—someone in college had a white party. This wasn’t something I was invited to, but they were having this white party and they were only gonna eat white food, which was absolutely disgusting. They were gonna have milk, which I don’t drink. They were gonna have eggs, which I don’t eat. And like, rice and something else. I’m like, this is the most disgusting party I’ve ever heard of!

K: I mean, those things don’t even go together! At least if you’re gonna pick white foods, you could pick something that’s more appetizing. Like, I don’t know, some kind of alfredo pasta or something, and like—

C: Mm-hmm.

K: What else is white? Some delicious cake or … something, but like (laughs) why would you pick eggs and rice to serve people at a party? 

C: (laughs) 

K: That’s very weird. Um, okay, so Toshio’s saying that it’s just … yes, so the reason I mentioned like, what is it—is there something more to it than just wearing white—is cuz the only time, or the first time maybe that I heard of a white party was with, you know, Diddy.

C: Yes.

K: He used to have one every year or whatever, and I was like, okay, but is it more than just people showing up in white? And I guess the more is just like … it’s rich people. (laughs) Like, it’s for rich people. 

C: Yeah. Yeah.

K: Which I was like, oh okay, I get that, I guess. But yeah, I never understood what it was, or why it was supposed to be like … something that was fun. The idea of wearing all-white is like terrifying to me. (laughs) 

C: Yeah.

K: Like I just have never … I’m bad at not just making a mess all the time, so I would never—I wouldn’t trust myself to show up to something in all white and be like, yep, definitely gonna be like this at the end of the night! Like, no. It would never … (laughing) it would never work.

C: How do you feel about Halloween parties? Like dress-up parties?

K: I mean, again, this is where I seem like a grump, but I’m … I don’t personally care for the um … this has happ[ened]—I feel like this has happened in the last ten or twelve years, maybe, but the idea that Halloween is now a holiday for adults, and adults should be expending a ton of energy into like costumes and parties and whatnot, and I’m just like … this is for kids. (laughs) Like, this is for children. It’s for children to get free candy and to eat all the candy they want. That’s the point of the holiday. You’re an adult; you can do this anytime. Right? To me, I’m just like, I don’t … I don’t know. I don’t wanna be one of those adults that’s like, no one should like something that I don’t like! But also, I’m like, I don’t think I should have to care about Halloween. (laughs) I don’t care about like … I think it’s fun when I see someone with an interesting costume, something clever, like they’ve mashed up two ideas or two things where they made themselves into some weird inanimate object. I’m like, okay, that’s interesting. (laughs) 

C: Mm-hmm.

K: But generally, I’m like, I don’t care about Halloween, and I don’t feel like—but there’s this thing that like—not thing, but like I feel like as an adult, you’re now supposed to invest a lot of energy in being into it, and I’m just like, I don’t personally care. (laughs) And … yeah. But what about you? Are you like a Halloween person?

C: No.

K: Yeah. I’m not either.

C: Nuh-uh. No. I have friends who are like, really into Halloween.

K: (laughs) Toshio asked if I kept the light off. I’m not that much of a grump. Like if I were gonna get candy—

C: I don’t. I don’t turn my porch light on. I should clarify that we keep the light off because of our dogs and the doorbell.

K: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

C: They go bazaza when the doorbell rings. Like I cannot watch the TV show [The] Golden Girls

K: (laughs) Oh, because their doorbell rings all the time! Yeah.

C: —because of how often the doorbell—you would not believe how often the doorbell rings on The Golden Girls

K: I would believe it. Yeah.

C: —and so I literally can’t even watch that show, which is a bummer because I enjoy it! So yeah, for Halloween, we have to keep ‘em off, because they will—

K: That’s funny.

C: —they do not like bells ringin.

K: (laughs) 

C: There’s so many songs about parties.

K: I mean, like all of them. Right? (laughs) So … 

C: All of them.

K: It’s basically like … yeah.

C: Wasn’t … I need to google this, but wasn’t—so there was “Fight for Your Right to Party,” by The Beastie Boys, but wasn’t that a take on Public Enemy’s song “Party for Your Right to Fight”? Toshio, can we get a confirmation on that?

K: I don’t know which one came first!

C: We’ll get confirmation on this, but I thought that that was a play on the Public Enemy song. Oh yeah, and Andrew W.K. obviously, Party Party Party guy, if you remember. That was from awhile ago. I wonder what happened to him!

K: That was from 2008. I know what happened to him! I think he’s dating Kat Denning, because I saw a social media post—Kat Dennings? Denning? I don’t know if it’s Denning—

C: Dennings, I think?

K: Yeah, I saw a social media post where she had a picture of him and then like a heart caption.

C: Ooh!

K: And I was like, are they dating? That’d be weird.

C: How old is he?

K:He’s not that much older than us. I think he’s like, probably in his early 40’s. Cuz when he went out with—

C: Really?!

K: I think so! Yeah. 

C: In my mind, everyone is older than me. Like, significantly.

K: (laughs) Well, I know he’s definitely older, because when I Get Wet—his first album—came out—yeah, he’s forty-one. Okay, so that makes sense! Cuz when that album came out—

C: What?!

K: Yeah. Cuz I know he was really young when that album came out, like twenty or something, so yeah.

C: Oh my god! When that album came out, I thought he was like twenty-five. 

K: (laughing) Also, that’s not that much older than us. 

C: I know. (laughs) 

K: I know. It’s hard to conceptualize when you’re like … you know, a young adult. Everyone seems like much older, much more mature than you, but it’s like no. He’s like twenty or whatever. 

C: They’re not. God. 

K: (laughs) 

C: You have any songs that you really like about parties?

K: I mean, the number one that came to my mind is my family—one of my family’s kinda favorite party songs, which is Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give It Up.” Like that’s an incredible song.

C: Oh, that’s such a good song!

K: It’s so fun! (laughs) It’s so great, and I really really really like that song. It was my aunt’s—one of my aunts’ favorite songs. And also too, I would highly recommend—if you’ve never seen the video of him doing that song on Soul Train, it’s incredible. 

C: Yeah!

K: He gets into the crowd and is like dancing with the crowd, and I’m like, can you imagine if you went to Soul Train and they’re like, oh yeah, the musical guest is gonna be Marvin Gaye—and then you get to dance with him in the crowd?

C: Oh my god. 

K: Like, what a moment. That’s one of my faves. The other one I thought of immediately, which—I don’t even really care that much about it, but like the Ke$ha song “Get the Party Started” … no, that’s Pink

C: Yeah!

K: Pink, “Get the Party Started.” Ke$ha “TiK ToK.” So those two songs, for some reason in my mind are linked (laughs), even though they’re like … twenty years apart? Fifteen years apart? I don’t know. Pink. so good. She was so good. She was so different when she first came out.

C: Yes she was. She was Missundaztood, some would say.

K: Yeah, there was a lotta (laughs) some would say that. Why would they say it? Cuz that was the name of her album.

K & C: (laugh) 

K: It’s interesting that there are no rock songs that are—maybe there are, but I just don’t think of them. But when I think of party songs, I think of hip-hop—

C: Yeah.

K: —R&B, pop … I don’t wanna hear guitars (laughs), for some reason. I wanna hear some like electronic or synthesized beats.

C: I want a drum and bass.

K: Yeah. I mean, yes, I guess that’s true too. There’s other, you know, more electronic-y stuff that is party music.

C: I want a good beat. Like a good beat.

K: Yeah, you want a good rhythm. Rhythm section.

C: Yeah. Like “Ms. Fat Booty” by Mos Def is maybe the best party song, also about another— 

K: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That’s a good song.

C: —another fly Taurus enchantress. Yeah, even twenty years—twenty-two years after that album, like that song … still a banger.

K: God. Twenty-two years, oh my god. Every album that I think of is like twenty years old (laughs) and I’m like, how is that possible?

C: Me too! I know, I’m like, I love that song that just came out!

K: I know, it did!

C: … twenty-two years ago.

K: Yeah, exactly! That’s exactly how I feel. I’m like, there’s no way. You see it if you follow music blogs and stuff on social media—there’s always like, every month, it seems like—oh it’s the twentieth anniversary of this album!

C: I know!

K: I’m like, no it’s not! (laughs) Like don’t say that!

C: (laughs) 

K: I’m sorry, I just don’t want it to be! But it’s true. How do you feel about surprise parties? 

C: (gasps)

K: Have you ever been to one or had one thrown for you?

C: I love that you brought this up, because I have a good story.

K: Oh, good.

C: No one has ever thrown me a surprise party. However, when I was turning twenty-five, I had planned a party, and my sister—Toshio was already living in San Francisco, and I was in Portland. And my sister connected with Toshio and managed it where he came out to surprise me for my twenty-fifth birthday. So it was the night before and I was hanging out with my brother-in-law, and he’s like, we’re gonna—why don’t we watch The Godfather? Which maybe sounds weird, but I love that movie.

K: No, it’s a great movie! (laughs) 

C: Yeah, so I was like, okay! Cuz I was living with them at the time. So I’m hangin out with my brother-in-law, thinkin like, oh this is cool, we’re just watching The Godfather

K: (laughs) 

C: And my sister said that she was going out to get a beer with a friend. I was like, okay. I’m watching it, and then she comes home and she’s like, “Hey, there’s a package outside for you.” And I’m like, what?! And so I look out there and then Toshio jumps out of a box—

K: (laughs) 

C: And they had written “Tyra Mail” on there, cuz we had been watching ANTM (America’s Next Top Model), and there was always like, “Tyra Mail!” whenever they’d get a note from Tyra. So Toshio jumps out of a box on the front porch labeled Tyra Mail. So that was, like … and I started crying then.

K: Aw!

C: That was the best. Absolutely.

K: That’s super sweet. One year, my aunts just got it in their head, they’re like, you know, we should … we should do a surprise party for Granny. And I was like, okay, that would be good. But I was away at Berkeley, so I wasn’t involved in any of the planning or anything, but they were like, yeah Krystal, you need to come home on this weekend, but you can’t tell her that you’re coming, because …  and the thing you have to know about my family is like … nobody can keep a secret—

C: (laughs) 

K: —like no—like no people in that family can keep a secret. So I was just like, well, they say they’re gonna do this, but like I know it’s not gonna go off the way they want it to cuz somebody’s gonna spill the beans at some point. But no, it like went off, the planning—they made reservations at this big sort of—it’s a restaurant that’s a Mexican restaurant, but they have like a big room that you can rent, and you can buy food from the restaurant to cater. But they had to trick my grandma into being like, well, we wanna bring you out for some reason or whatever.

C: Right.

K: So they had told her at the time … so my grandma loves blues music.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: And they were like, oh yeah, B.B. King—he was actually touring at the time, and they’re like, oh, we’re gonna take you to see him. Like, wherever, Fresno, wherever it was. And so she and my grandpa and my uncle Junior—her brother—and his wife, they were all gonna go together. The three of them all knew that it wasn’t real (laughs), but like they were—you know, had to play along. So I got there on, whatever it was, a Saturday, and we’re all quietly in the room, and we’re like, oh my gosh, she’s gonna be so mad (laughs) because she’s like, I thought we were gonna see B.B. King and we’re not gonna go see him. So they told her like, oh yeah, we’re gonna take you for dinner first or whatever. So they brought her to the restaurant or whatever, and then she opens the door and we all jump out, and it was just like so fun. It was like all of her kids and their kids, and all of her friends, and it’s … was like one of my favorite things my family ever did. It’s also great because we have all of the pictures and video and stuff from it, and like a lot of the people—you know, my uncle and my grandpa, they’ve passed away now. So it was kind of like … it was a really nice time to have with my grandma.

C: Yeah.

K: And she was so mad, like there’s a picture—(laughs) 

C: (laughs)

K: —she was mad at first. There’s a picture of her like swinging her purse at my aunt (laughs), like at my aunt. Somebody captured it. It’s like a perfect image. But yeah, she was so mad at first, and then she was not mad cuz it was a party for her—

C: Right.

K: —and she’s like, oh I get to be the center of attention, so yeah. Happy again. 

So one thing that people have a lot of like social rules about is how to arrive at a party and how to leave a party. Like there’s all these—

C: Mm. Like the Irish goodbye.

K: Yes. That’s one thing I wanted to bring up, was like … are you in favor of that?

because to me, like … I wanna leave when I wanna leave, and I don’t necessarily want it to be like a whole—

C: Thing?

K: —rigamarole of having to like, find this person and say this to them and whatever. I’m like, if I’m leaving, I’m just leaving. (laughs) 

C: Mm-hmm.

K: Like that’s it, and I don’t see why that’s not polite or whatever. But yeah.

C: I feel like at a party, just when you’re ready to go, you go. I don’t know. I don’t think that’s rude.

K: I don’t either, but apparently—

C: But other people might disagree with me.

K: Yeah, it’s a whole thing, and I was like, I never even knew this was a debate, cuz like—

C: I didn’t either!

K: —just leave when you leave. The one thing I think when I think of my family and how … not parties necessarily, but if we’re at a gathering and, you know, we’re at my grandma’s or what have you … leaving just takes so long (laughs), because you have to say bye to every person. Or this is how my mom does it anyway. She’ll be like, okay, we’re leaving. So then she’s saying goodbye to my one aunt, and then my other aunt, and then my grandma. Then my cousin. And I’m just like, (laughing) let’s go! Like, move it along. Like I don’t have … are we leaving, or are we not leaving? It’s just one of those things that I think like if you’re … I don’t know, in a family—and maybe this is just a Black people thing, but like … she’ll say she’s leaving, and then she’ll just like stand at the door talking to my grandma for five minutes.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: And I’m like, are we leaving, or are we not leaving?

C: Right.

K: Like I just wanna know. So yeah, people can just draw those goodbyes out for so long, and I’m like, this is why I’m in favor of the Irish goodbye, because (laughs) I’m like … I grew up with that so often that I’m just like no. When I want to leave, I want to go and I’m going.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: I don’t wanna say goodbye to every person; that takes too long. But yeah, and then also like there are the rules about like, when do you get to a party? And I never have a problem with this, because I’m late to everything all the time. (laughs) 

C: (laughs) 

K: So I’m never gonna get to a party too early. Like that’s never gonna happen unless I have the wrong time somehow, but yeah. 

C: Yeah. 

K: Never, never something that I would ever be in danger of.

C: When is the right time to come? I would say … 

K: Well cuz there’s, like—

C: I don’t know! I like to be punctual if I can. 

K: But people don’t like it when you show up at the time the party’s supposed to start. Or I feel like people don’t like that. Again, I would not know personally, cuz I don’t get anyplace on time, but—

C: Right. Have you ever lied, or has anyone ever lied to you, about what time something starts so that you’ll get there on time? I’ve done that to people—

K: (laughs) Oh! Yeah, so that I can—yes. Yes.

C: —who are perpetually late—I’ve done that to several people, actually.

K: Absolutely.

C: Where I’m like, yeah, the thing starts actually at 8, so I’m gonna tell you it starts at 7. 

K: Yeah.

C: You still somehow end up there at 9:30.

K: (laughs) Okay, I’m not that bad. But it’s—I think it’s two things. So one is that I’m just like—

C: You just don’t care about other people.

K: No (laughs), that’s not true! I do care. It’s just that like … you know, you’re getting ready to go to a thing, and you’re like, ugh. I gotta stop doing whatever nonsense I’m doing and get ready to go to this … this thing, so that means I have to get dressed with real clothes; I have to put on makeup; do something to my hair. You know? It’s like, okay, that’s gonna take time. So I’m always waiting until the last minute to do that—

C: Mm-hmm.

K: —and so then that, you know, makes me late or whatever. But then also I don’t drive, so everywhere I go I’m taking public transit, so like you’re at the mercy of BART, or, you know, AC Transit or whatever. So it’s just like, okay, well I’ll be—now that I’ve actually left my home, I’ll be there whenever transit takes me to where I need to be. So it’s like a combination of those two things. Obviously if I did not procrastinate getting ready (laughs), then I wouldn’t have as big of a problem, but I’m just like … ugh. (laughing) I don’t wanna get up and put on real clothes and get dressed and do makeup and whatever. But yeah, people have definitely been like, “Yeah, it starts at like 7,” and it really starts at 8, you know? Cuz they know—

C: Krystal just doesn’t care.

K: I care! I promise I care, you guys. I just, I’m very lazy, so (laughs). That’s my problem. I was trying to think of a party that like … I liked. And again, I’m not a huge party person. But the only one I could think of, in terms of my favorite party—it was a birthday party for me when I was like … nine? (laughs) 

C: Mm-hmm. (laughs) 

K: I don’t think I ever … once I was old enough to like say whether or not I wanted a birthday party, I’ve never never wanted one.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: But only once, when I was nine, I remember for some reason that year I had gotten like a lot of money for my birthday, like I had seen a bunch of people and, you know, they’re like, “Oh here’s a dollar.” “Here’s two dollars for your birthday.” And for some—somehow, I ended up with maybe like forty dollars or something. Fifty dollars, maybe? Which, you know—

C: Hey, high roller!

K: I know, right? Like when you’re—that’s not a lot of money at all as an adult person, but—

C: It is when you’re nine!

K: When you’re nine, it might as well be a million, you know? (laughs) You’re like, I’m rich. And so my mom was like, okay, well what do you wanna do with your money? And I was like, oh, I want to—this is my idea of like, the best party. I was like, I wanna go see Home Alone 2 and then I wanna go to Pizza Hut. Like, this is back in the day when Pizza Hut had like games and like the buffet—

C: Oh, yeah.

K: —you know, the salad bar and stuff like that, and it was a place where people would go and eat inside the restaurant or whatever. 

C: It’s the—the place, where anyone who’s anyone goes.

K: Exactly. When you’re nine, yeah. (laughs) It was.

C: When you’re nine, hell yes.

K: And so my mom’s like, okay. We’ll call your friends, we’ll do it. And then we did! And it was like … so fun. And I thought I was gonna have to spend my—my mom didn’t make me spend my birthday money on it, but like, I would have. I totally would have paid for my friends and me—

C: Aw!

K: —to go to the movies and like see, you know, (laughing) Home Alone 2 and then go to Pizza Hut and play games or whatever.

C: Aw. That’s a sweet, sweet story.

K: It was fun! And since then, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a birthday party, but that was the only one where I was like, no I wanna … I wanna do this for my birthday.

C: Well, what could compare?

K: I know! If new Home Alones come out, maybe I’d do that again.

C: Yeah. As Toshio said in our chat, all downhill from there.

K: (laughing) Truly. That is like the apex of birthdays when you’re nine in, whatever, 1992 or something. 

C: And once you hit those double-digits, why bother?

K: (laughs) It’s so funny; every time I think of that—my dad called it turning into a double-digit dude—he’s like, “Are you excited to be a double-digit dude?” And I’m like … I guess. (laughs) 

C: Triple Ds! (laughs) 

K: (laughing) Yeah, exactly. Ah, yeah.

C: Toshio, didn’t you go to a murder mystery party?

T: Yeah, I’ve been to several.

K: (laughs) Of course.

C: Ooh! I would love that.

T: I’ve hosted them—

C: You hosted one?!

T: Yeah, everyone came in character. I ended up being like an Austrian … someone of nobility—

K: (laughs) 

C: Mm-mhh.

T: —of Vienna, and I wasn’t able to get lederhosen in time—

K: (laughs) 

T: —but it had a whole like costuming section to the uh … the invite, and—

C: When was this?!

T: This was when I’d just moved to the Bay, so maybe around like 2006?

C: Mm-hmm.

T: Uh, so old enough to … for it to be like, you know, wow. You’re trying really hard by like, going to multiple locations to try to find lederhosen.

C: Well, why don’t we get into Two Cents Plus Tax?

K: Two Cents, No Tax?

C: Yup! (laughs) 

K: Yep, that. (laughs) 

C: Yeah, I’m excited. You know, um … since Toshio is here, let’s give him a little Two Cents, No Tax this week. Toshio’s definitely gonna have an opinion on this one.

K: Mm.

T: Okay.

C: Are you ready for a little Two Cents, No Tax, Toshio?

T: I’m ready! 

C: Okay. I would love to get your Two Cents, No Tax on coupons.

K: (laughs) 

T: Cue-pons.

C: Sorry, cue-pons.

K: Wait a minute. You … you say cue-pons? That’s funny.

C: I say coupons, but I guess it’s cue-pons.

K: I say coupons!

T: It’s cue-pons! I … you know, I grew up saying coupons, but then I entered the world of extreme cue-ponning, and—

K: Mm. Wait, is that true?!

C: It is true.

T: —I haven’t looked back. Yeah. 

K: Whoa.

T: Yeah, it’s a thing. It’s a thing. That’s how we say it in the community.

K: Oh my gosh.

K & C: (laugh) 

T: And yes, thumbs up! I mean, absolutely, stack those coupons every which way you can, including for online shopping. You can … you gotta get those credit cards that give you extra points for shopping at certain places. Miles, airline miles, even though we’re not flyin anywhere.

K & C: (laugh)

T: And, uh, generally … you know. Get roped into buying things you wouldn’t otherwise buy—

K: Mm-hmm. 

T: —just so that you can chase those savings.

C: Now tell me, how many apps do you have on your phone right now that are coupon apps?

K: (laughs) Oh my gosh, this is really a real thing.

T: Ooh. That’s …

C: I’m telling you, you have never met anyone—

K: I haven’t! Now I’m thinking about, like—

C: —who coupons harder than this gentleman right here.

K: I’m thinking now of that—

T: One … two …

K: —have you guys seen that TikTok where it’s the girl and she’s like singing the song about shopping at her parents’ house?

C: Nuh-uh!

T: Nuh-uh.

K: Oh, it’s like she’s shopping at her parents’ house because her parents are like coupon people, and so she’s going through and like going to all of their—getting paper towels, and soap, and all of the like (laughs)

C: (laughs) 

K: —cleaning supplies, because they have like, tons and tons.

T: Oh, they have one of the rooms! Storage room, yeah.

K: Yeah. It’s like a cute little song … (singing) shopping at my parents’ house … it’s adorable. I have to find the TikTok so you guys can see it, but—

C: Yeah, you’ll have to send that to us.

K: Yeah. But when I first saw it, I was like, oh my gosh, these people have to be like extreme coupon people—

T: (laughs) 

K: —because who would have this much stuff at their house?

T: Backstock.

K: Yeah, exactly.

T: Okay, so if you don’t count like the loyalty program—

C: Right. 

T: —you know, kind of apps that we all indulge in … not all of us.

C: Meaning you. Yes.

K: (laughs) 

T: Yes. Um … twelve?

K: (laughing) Oh no!

C: Only twelve? Honestly, that surprises me because—

K: Oh my gosh.

C: —when you were visiting one time, you had a folder on your phone that was dedicated specifically to the coupon apps. And I thought there was like a hundred.

T: I still have … I still have—

C: The folder.

T: Yeah, I mean it looks like it.

C: Now, another thing people might not know about you that is connected to couponing is that you are a member of AARP.

K: (laughs) 

T: I am. Yeah, because—

C: And you are younger than me.

T: Here’s the thing, is anyone can become a member of AARP!

K: Yeah, I was gonna say, you can do it. It doesn’t matter how you’re—what age you are, yeah.

T: Yeah!

C: And honestly—like I’m joking, but I do think it’s a good idea. Like why not get these savings and the discounts?

K: Literally, my mom has tried to get me to join, and I’m like, (laughing) I’m not joining AARP!

T: Yeah.

C: Yeah! I’m kinda thinking about it.

K: It’s the principle of the thing. Like I’m not gonna join it.

T: They have gift cards; they have, you know … watch a video on … I don’t know, how to avoid, uh … arthritis or something like that—

K: (laughs) 

C: Sure. 

T: —and then you get points and you can collect—if you watch enough videos on arthritis, you can get like a five-dollar gift card to—

K: (laughs) This is … 

T: —anywhere from Chuck E. Cheese to—

K: Wait, only five dollars? That’s it?

T: I mean …

K: I mean, to you it’s worth it, to you. I get it.

T: This is the era of austerity. (laughs)

K: (laughing) No, it’s fine! It’s just so funny to me. I wish I had that like gene, whatever it is, that makes people good at this, cuz I find it too much work, and I’m like, no, I’m out.

T: It is really too much work.

K: My number one thing is if I google like a coupon code before I buy something online, that’s like the extent of my couponing. (laughs) 

C: (laughs) 

T: That’s where it should stop, rationally. Rationally.

K: No, it’s good! It’s smart do that, cuz those things exist for a reason. Right? 

C: Mm-hmm.

K: Like if you’re savvy enough to A) know how to take advantage of it; and then actually do? Like, that’s good. We’re all just leaving money on the table, honestly. All of us who don’t do that.

T: Some people would say, yeah. If you are not cue-poning, then you are literally like flushing money down the toilet. I think for me, it’s like … there should be a time limit. I will spend hours looking for—

K: (laughs) I love it. I love this so much.

T: —the lowest price. Multiple comparison shopping sites—

K: This is amazing.

T: —and it’s … I guess it’s more of a hobby. Because in the end, like … you’re better off getting a minimum wage job for the amount of money that you end up saving. 

K: (laughs) Right.

T: It’s really … not workable.

K: Um, okay. That is amazing. How am I supposed to follow that?

C: (laughs) 

K: Like that’s … mine are not as good. I guess I could start with the one that’s local. So how do you feel about the honeybears, Toshio?

T: Ooh, thumbs down!

C: What are the honeybears?

T: (laughs)

K: Okay, so there’s this whole controversy right now. There’s this artist in San Francisco who has like—

C: (gasps) Oh, yeah!

K: —done these murals of like honeybears, um, and they’re kinda like—

C: Okay, yeah. I did see that on Toshio’s Twitter.

T: (inhales sharply) Oof.

K: Yeah. They’re a take on the like, the classic honeybear—

C: Jar, yeah.

K: —squeeze plastic container that everyone knows. And they’re like all—like, when I say they’re all over the city, they’re like all over the city. And people are like, not into them— (laughs) 

T: Yeah.

K: —and especially cuz he paints … it’s basically like a gentrification issue, essentially.

T: Yeah.

K: So I was interested in Toshio’s take on it.

C: Wait, so why is this guy painting honeybears, though? What’s the—

T: It’s just an apolitical—it’s become, like, a Bay Area symbol for gentrifiers, I guess I would say.

K: Because they pop up in certain neighborhoods, and then they sometimes even are like over other murals or places where other murals were painted over, and now somehow the honeybears are okay, but not like the previous more political or historic murals were not allowed anymore, so—

T: Exactly.

C: Yeah. Okay.

K: —it’s kinda like a like, oh why is this fine, but that other thing that used to exist here that represented a community that no longer is in this neighborhood—like why is that not okay?

T: Right. Yeah, like the LGBT Center here—you know, this is a cis straight white dude—

K: Yeah.

C: Mm-hmm.

T: —which, you know, they kind of own the art world already—the LGBT Center here paid him tens of thousands of dollars to, you know paint a honeybear with the trans flag colors on it, and it’s like—

C: Oh my god.

K: (laughs) It’s so silly.

T: —you coulda housed somebody for … somebody like a queer person who had to run away from home. 

K: Mm-hmm.

T: He also considers himself an immigrant.

K: Oh my gosh, that statement. I was just like, are you serious?

T: Ohh.

C: Oh, I did—that guy!

K: (laughs) He’s an immigrant to San Francisco cuz he’s from Missouri or whatever—

T: Yeah. Yeah.

K: (laughing) I’m just like, get outta here. 

C: (laughs)

T: So he goes through the same thing that people at the border, you know? It’s … that kinda thing.

C: Oh my god.

K: It’s the same. It’s like a one-to-one comparison, obviously.

T: Mm-hmm. 

C: To be fair, have you been to St. Louis?

T: (laughs) No.

K: You know what, I have not been, and, you know but … yeah, it’s a whole thing that’s happening right now, and I’m just like, ugh.

T: Something rosy.

C: One final Two Cents, No Tax for you, Toshio.

T: Yes.

C: Demi Lovato.

T: Ooh!

C: Singer Demi Lovato. In case you don’t know who she is.

K: (laughs) 

T: So … Uh, yeah. I don’t know. I mean, not a huge fan, tbh. I love to see a former Disney star get real.

C: Mm-hmm.

T: There’s one song that I think I have that I like downloaded when MP3s were—

K: (laughs) When people downloaded music? Yeah.

T: —a thing. I mean, “Cool for the Summer,” that is what people used to call bop, but “Skyscraper,” I can’t recommend it to anyone, so I don’t know why I’m even mentioning it.

K: (laughs) 

T: It’s a cheesy ballad, and it’s about her like rising from the ashes, like the World Trade Center, sort of?

K: (laughing) Okay.

C: Whoa.

K: Not dramatic at all.

T: And then she did that anti-Trump song

C: Did she?

T: —like at the end of the last election.

C: When everyone hated him.

T: I think it made, you know, the Billboards or whatever, and … (faint chanting in the background) ooh, there’s a Mayday parade. A Caitlin Wood parade!

C: Yeah, I’m hearing music or something!

K: Yes, it’s specifically for you, Caitlin. Celebratin all the way in the Bay Area. Yep.

K: Yay! They remembered! 

T & K: (laughs) 

C: A parade of honeybears just for me.

K: Oh my gosh.

T: Mm-hmm. (singing) Cool for the summer!

K: Yeah, I—again, I can’t follow these. (laughs) I think we should go with the food one, cuz I always like to hear what other people … how other people feel about food stuff. How do you feel about popcorn?

T: Love it. 

K: Okay.

T: I love that … you know what, on the subject of dieting, that it was considered to be like a diet food in the 80’s or early 90’s—

C: Mm-hmm! Yeah.

T: uh, not sure why

K: Well if you put no salt and no butter, it’s not … it’s basically just air (laughs)

T: Okay.

K: I guess that’s probably why?

T: I eat it commonly because I don’t really cook and I have an air popper, so I guess that’s the extent of my cooking, is like, scooping the kernels into the air popper and plugging it in. However, my mom just clued me into these new like silicone … it could be totally bad for you. Maybe you’re ingesting plastic along with the popcorn.

K: (laughs) Okay.

T: But you can take popcorn kernels and put em in the silicone bowl and microwave them. I think it was a big holiday gift for Xmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah 2020, and out comes popped popcorn. Although … I mean, I guess it’s a little bit less wasteful than— 

C: I don’t understand.

T: —a bag of microwavable popcorn?

K: Oh, I see. Okay.

C: What’s the draw? Just that you’re using a bowl? I mean, couldn’t you just put it in a regular bowl and do it?

K: I think the draw is like … I don’t think you can pop popcorn that way. I think there has to be something—some other like chemical or process has to happen to make it pop if you’re using the microwave. Which is why you need the microwave bags, because there’s something in the bags—

C: Oh. 

K: —that does something to microwave popcorn to make it pop, so I think that’s probably what it is.

T: Totally. Yeah, and—

C: You should also never eat microwave popcorn because it’s like one of the biggest carcinogens ever.

K: I don’t—my whole reason for asking this is cuz I hate popcorn, so … (laughs) 

C: Really!

K: I don’t like it. I mean, I’ll eat it. I’m not anti-like eating it. I’ll eat it sometimes like if someone has some and they offer it to me, but I’ll never buy it and I don’t get it at the movies or anything. 

C: Ugh, I love popcorn.

K: I don’t like—I guess I’m weird about stuff with my teeth, like I don’t like that it gets into your teeth and like, the little … whatever, kernels—

T: Yeah.

K: I don’t—I don’t like that feeling, so … (laughs) 

T: I don’t love that.

C: But you like rice cakes!

K: I do, but they dissolve easily. Like they’re just—it’s just rice. It’s just puffed air. Like once … it doesn’t get into your—

C: Into your teeth. Yeah. I get that.

K: —dental crevices, you know.

T: The bottom line for me on popcorn is that—

K & C: (laugh) 

T: —it is really about seasoning—

K, C, & T: (laugh) 

K: I do like the versatility of it. I’ll agree. I like the versatility. I like the—

T: Yeah! 

K: Something about the act—I can get how the act of eating it is like … enjoyable.

C: Yeah.

K: Cuz it’s very crunchy, but also like you got the air in there so it’s kinda soft … yeah different flavors and stuff like that, I totally understand it. But for me, it’s more of a like, texture thing. 

C: Well, thank you, Toshio. That was, as always, fascinating. A journey. It was a journey.

K: (laughing) It really was, honestly. 

C: Okay, well how bout we talk about what we have been reading, watching, listening to, et cetera? 

K: Mm-hmm.

C: Do you have anything in particular that has just been making your week?

K: (sighs) Well, I haven’t watched that many things. It’s been really … and I haven’t—again, I have not read that many things. I did read—I finished reading Passing. I don’t know if I mentioned that.

C: You did.

K: Okay. Yeah, so I—again, look, I’m repeating things I’ve already read. That’s how—(laughs) 

C: I think it’s worth repeating: Passing and Quicksand by Nella Larsen.

K: I guess. Um, yes, I did finish that. And I haven’t really watched anything new or interesting. I did … (laughs) speaking of albums that are like twenty years old, the band Kings of Convenience, they have a new album coming out in June and they released their first song from it on Friday called “Rocky Trail,” and Kings of Convenience are like … their first album came out in 2001. Again, twenty years old. And it’s called Quiet Is the New Loud. And it’s basically them—they’re very—it’s just two guys. Guitar, some drums. It’s very much (laughs) exactly what the name sounds like. There’s a—

C: Mm-hmm.

K: At that time, there was kinda like a … a movement of like sort of softer, gentler kind of like folk-tinged music at the time, like Badly Drawn Boy, Jose Gonzalez, like that whole like era had a bunch of bands like that, and they were I think kind of at the forefront of what they were doing at the time, and … just such a good, fun band. That album is very mellow, like if you wanna chill out, definitely listen to Quiet Is the New Loud. They had a song from their next album, Riot on an Empty Street, which I think came out in 2004? 5? They had a very cute video for that song, for the song “I’d Rather Dance With You” where they were like the instructors for a class of like little ballet girls.

C: Aww!

K: It’s really cute. It’s adorable. Super recommend googling that. But yeah, they haven’t had an album in like twelve years, and so they’re finally coming out with new music and they’re like, (laughs) yeah the timing is weird. And I’m like, it sure is!

C: Yeah. (laughs) 

K: Cuz you can’t go to concerts, so … but yeah, it’s exactly what I wanted. The new song, “Rocky Trail,” is exactly what I was hoping they’d be doing. It’s basically, you know, the same vein as Quiet Is the New Loud and the other two albums, where it’s just them, guitar, you know. Really good lyrics. That’s another thing about Kings of Convenience; they have really interesting, sort of evocative lyrics. I really like em! They’re both like … like I said, extremely white dudes from Norway, I think? 

C: Hmm.

K: Yeah. If you google the band and look up their names, you’re like, oh yeah, they’re from like Northern Europe. Because they have like weird like …

C: Olaf.

K: Yeah, they have the weird—you know, names with the weird characters. 

C: Yeah, yeah.

K: You know, the letters have the weird characters and stuff and you’re like, oh yeah, they’re not American. But yeah, they have a new album. Highly recommend their new song, “Rocky Trail.” The album I think comes out in June, so not for a little while yet, but I mean if you wanna listen to their other albums, highly recommend Quiet Is the New Loud. It’s, again, twenty years old this year! So … that’s fun. 

C: Nice.

K: (laughs) And doesn’t make me feel old at all. Yeah, what about you?

C: I have a really good, in my opinion, recommendation for a funny TV show. If you need something funny, which … I really really needed something funny this week. It’s been a rough fuckin week! So I have … if you have amazon prime and you’re in america, there is a TV show called Would I Lie to You. Have y’all heard of this?

K: Nuh-uh!

C: Heard about this? 

K & C: (laugh) 

C: So have you ever seen the TV show Peep Show? With the two British guys—

K: I know the guys. I’ve never watched it. But yeah.

C: Okay. I feel like … I have seen it, but not in a really long time. Anyway, I stumbled across the show, which if you’re British, you’re probably like yeah, this is a popular show, but we’re american, so forgive me!

K: (laughs) Exactly.

C: This is like the perfect show for me. It’s a game show, kind of. There’s two teams, and there’s two captains, one on each team, and then they’ll have new guests each week. So David Mitchell, who is in Peep Show, is the captain. He is this extremely clever, intelligent, funny, funny comedian who comes across as very posh. And then the other captain is this comedian who I’d never seen before but I think is very popular in England named Lee Mack, and he has a very different style than David Mitchell. Like much less posh. He’s also very clever, just in a different way. Anyway, the whole premise of the game is people come on the show; they tell these outrageous stories; and they’re trying to convince the other team that what they’re saying is true.

K: Mm-hmm.

C: So like they’ll get a card and they have to read off something, like just a little line, and then the other team has to decide if they’re lying or if they’re being honest. 

K: Mm-hmm.

C: I … last week we had our crying episode where we were talking about like, laughing so hard we’re crying. 

K: Mm-hmm.

C: I wish I had seen the show prior to the taping, because—

K: (laughs) 

C: —this show has been cracking me up so hard, and I love it because—for a number of reasons—but so I was looking at the show and going through the guests, and I was like, I don’t know who any of these people are.

K: (laughs) Right.

C: Like occasionally I would. Occasionally they’ll have someone who is more well-known. Trevor Noah’s on one, but I wasn’t really impressed with him. Like … Baby Spice was on one.

K: (laughs) 

C: I was like, okay, I know her. 

K: Is she funny?

C: She was fine. She was fine. 

K: Okay.

C: Olivia Colman, who was also in Peep Show.

K: (laughs) Of course. She’s on all of them, yeah.

C: Yeah, but she was in Peep Show, which is really weird. So anyway, so occasionally they will have famous people on there, like Harry Shearer from The Simpsons. He’s on there, on one. 

K: Mm. Mm-hmm. 

C: But however, for the most part, it’s like, oh he’s the number one comedian in Wales! And it’s like, cool, cuz … don’t know who you are. One thing I love about it too is it’s a game show, technically, and they’ll have a winner at the end of each show. They don’t win anything. 

K: (laughs) 

C: They’re like, this team won! And it’s like, okay! And that’s it!

K: Do they get to come back if they win, or is it just like—

C: Nope! No, they do not. 

K: (laughs) That’s fun.

C: So anyway, highly recommend it. It’s called Would I Lie to You; it’s on amazon prime. Very very easy breezy watch. That would be my recommendation, and if you watch it, I would love to hear if you like it. If you don’t like it, I don’t wanna hear from you.

K: (laughs) I mean, it’s—I was just looking it up right now and it seems like it’s one of the few like … British show things that’s been on for a long time. It’s been on for like, fifteen years or something—

C: It’s been on for like (laughing) fifteen years! So of course I just heard about it.

K: —yeah, which is like shocking. I mean, I’m … I don’t know. This is a thing that I’ve sort of realized as I’ve been on the internet longer, is I’m not an Anglophile.

C: Mm-hmm.

K: Like I don’t really … I mean, I’m not anti-any of the shows, but I’m definitely not the person that’s gonna go search out … like I know Mitchell and Webb, and I know their stuff that they do—

C: Yeah.

K: —but I’m just like … not really super that interested in them (laughs).

C: Yeah. 

 K: And generally speaking, if I’m gonna watch a British show, I want like a … I don’t know, for some reason the comedies don’t really do it for me. It’s the depressing dramas that I’m like, more interested in.

C: That you love.

K: Yeah, so I don’t know. But all of the people who have been in those shows have been, you know, so popular that they’re now in a lot of american stuff too, like Olivia Colman and all of them, they’re sort of starting to become, you know. What’s the guy? The Toast of London guy; the guy you—

K & C: Matt Berry.

K: Like all of those people are now like people in america too— 

C: Yeah. Yeah. 

K: —so it’s like, okay. Well now I can care about what they’re doing over here. (laughs) Even though I don’t watch those shows either.

C: Well I think this was a wonderful episode as always. You can find us on Instagram and Twitter at @TwoCentsPlusTax. You can find our transcripts at twocentsplustaxpodcast.com, and you can support us on our Patreon, which helps us cover costs of transcripts and website costs, which we always very much appreciate. And we have got to shout out—

K: Okay. I was like, if you don’t do it I’m gonna!

C: No, we’re both going to. We need to shout this from the rooftops! Jessica, our first patron.

K: Jessica! The best.

C: What a wonderful beautiful person Jessica is.

K: She’s the best. Like, truly, she’s such a great person.

C: She is amazing!

K: So sweet, so funny, and like … love her. I don’t know how we became friends on social media, but I’m so glad we did. (laughing) She’s just so … she’s an interesting person, and I—you know, I don’t mean that in an underhanded way. (laughs) I mean truly—

C: Yeah! She really is interesting.

K: —a very interesting person. 

C: And we must give her credit, because she came up with the—

K: Ah, yes! The IRS.

C: —acronym for IRS, which we—our fans, as you know, are IRS, and she came up with I Respect Scams.

K: Yeah, for our listeners, yeah.

C: Yeah. She is … I mean, that is just beautiful. Thank you, Jessica.

K: I mean, truly. Jessica, you’re amazing. She’s been telling me that I should do a podcast forever (laughs)

C: Yes.

K: —and when you were like, do you wanna do a podcast, I was like, fine. I knew Jessica was gonna be psyched about it, so—

C: Do it for Jessica. 

K: I’m glad, yeah. Finally givin her what she wants. But yes, thank you, Jessica. That was amazing, and yeah. If you guys … you know, anyone else has the means to donate to the Patreon, we would greatly appreciate it.

C: Yes. Alright, well any last thoughts on this Mayday?

K: Um, no. I mean, I’m thinking now of all the party things I didn’t mention (laughing) that I’m like, we didn’t talk about House Party; we didn’t talk about any of the like—

C: Oh, the movie?

K: Yeah, the movie House Party, but also all the teen comedies where like house parties are the central conceit, like Can’t Hardly Wait, or Clueless or whatever.

C: Weird Science; Sixteen Candles

K: Yeah, like there are so many. So many. Oh, man, Sixteen Candles. That movie. Yeah! But no, nothing else, I think. Happy birthday, again, to you.

C: Thank you!  

K: It’s amazing! We did it. Got to another May first.

C: We did it! This is, um … been a terrible year, but uh, the fact that—

K: (laughs) I think everyone will agree. Yes

C: —no, lemme just finish by saying. Thirty-eight, I am very happy to say ta-ra to. Tata? I don’t know. Whatever.

K: (laughs) 

C: However, some good things did happen including this podcast, which I am—

K: Oh!

C: That was such a wonderful thing. I am so happy we’re doing this. I love the both of you, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

K: Aw! (laughs) This is supposed to be about you! Now I’m like getting emotional, like I’ve done something!

C: Aw!

K: It’s not my birthday! (laughs) 

C: (laughs) Happy birthday to all of us. 

T: (laughs) 

K: (laughing) Yes, happy birthday to all of us!

(theme song plays)